How I came to Islam by Ahmad AbdlHaqq –

BismiLlâhi wa ‘l-HamduliLlâhi wa salâtu wa as-Salâmu ‘alâ Sayyidinâ Muhammad wa ‘alâ Âlihi wa As-Hâbihi wa sallam.

Wa ‘alaikum as-Salâm wa RahmatuLlâhi wa BarakatuHu!

Well beloved my conversion story isn’t too different from others. It was back in 1996 I was living in Boston, Massachussetts and I met a brother from Nigeria who was one of the most righteous persons I’ve ever met in my life. At the time life was not too easy for me and I was almost at the point of just giving up looking for God. I was young, just out of High School, 18 years of age. My grandfather who was very close to me had just died that year, and a very close friend of mine had died later on the same year.

I had gone through some changes growing up in a family with various different manifestations of religious life. I was baptized in the Catholic Church, yet my family was composed of not only Catholics but the different version of Christianity, Methodist, Evangelist, and etc. And we also had some Freemasons and Vodou priest & priestesses, this is both from my father’s side of the family (Haitians) and mother’s side (Dominicans) didn’t learn about my latter side till later on in life. So growing up I was about to see some different things with regards to religion and spirituality and organization.

The Catholic Church however never did much for me so by the time I was about 14yrs old I started questioning my faith. I was a strong reader of the Bible and would read beyond what was I was told to read. This caused me to start seeing many things in the Bible were not consistent with what I was seeing in the Church, and when I would ask about these things, the answers were always pointing out that it was the whispers of the Devil that was creating doubt in my mind and heart. This caused much problem for me, I was, and still am a strong reader. And I read the Bible and more and more I read, the more and more I found contradictions with what I was being taught at the Church. So I left the church. And begin to search on my own.

This searching brought me to many different faiths, I met some Rastafarians and began to study with them, but I found somethings with them that I just could not accept, one being that they were worshipping a dead King of Ethiopia. From them though, I learn how to read the Bible with more attention and focus. I kept reading the Bible. Later on I met with some Budhist, and started to learn with them, they had some very strong truths with them, but they were lacking in that they believed in many different beings who in actuality was different manifestations of the Budha, and there was almost an atheist appeal at some points. Nonetheless, I was able to gain much on meditation and concentration from them. After that, I decided I was not going to profess any religion. I was just going to read the Bible and pray, and ask God to guide me. In between all this 3 and a half years had passed. I was stronger now with the Bible and even more stronger in reciting the Psalms of David and had even learned what Psalm to recite for different situations (which is a Kabbalistic science).

My life had changed drastically in those years, and I was even involved in things that I should have never been involved in. However, I had faith in God, and was again ready to attempt with an established religion. Being that I was versed in the Bible and had a connection with it. I decided to try the Evangelist Church. Mind you that I was questioning much of the Catholic Church, and one the major doubts I had was regarding the Trinity. I could not understand how the Bible repeatedly said one, and the church was telling me 3. I went into the Evangelist church but was not going the fully accept without having some things clarified. I noticed that the images had disappeared and there seemed to be a more closeness to God. But, I found the same trinity doctrine being professed and now, this church had a habit of downgrading the other churches even though they were all “Christians”. In this church I found an even emphasis made on the self-proclaimed apostle Paul, so they were more to me, Paulinians than Christians, because the Christ they were not following. So it wasn’t too long before I left that church and decided I was just going to be independent. I said to myself, if there was a religion that I was to follow, it did not exist. I just kept praying and living life according to what I thought was life at the time.

Well, about three months before the month of Ramadan in 1996, I meet a Nigerian brother. At the time I did not know he was Muslim. I am a very observant person and am able to see things quickly. I had noticed that the brother had a routine and at certain times he would disappear. So curiousity came into play and I asked him, “Where do you disappear to? I have noticed how you disappear at certain times, where do you go?” He replied, “I go to pray”. I replied, “To pray?!” He said to, “I am Muslim”. I was dumbfounded, I knew this brother was a righteous person but I had no idea that he was following a religion. I had heard of Muslims but I had never really met one and the Islam that I was hearing about was of a certain group called the N.O.I. and they were to me, just like the so-called Christians that I was trying to get away from. I was sceptic and began to ask him many questions. To my surprise he was able to answer me without telling me that it was Devil making ask these questions or some other reason. I was hooked.

I started looking for the brother purposely to ask him questions and one day, he brought me a small pocket size copy of the Noble Qur’an (Arabic & English). I read it in one month following the instructions of the brother on how to read it (the English interpretation of course). After I had read this I was already sure God had answered my prayers and had guided me to His Way. One evening, the brother invites me to meet an Imam and we were at his house and were watching a movie by the name of “The Message”. I watched that movie attentively and I don’t know what it was but I was soo moved after seeing this movie, I just said to them, I want to take shahadah now. SubhanALlâh! I became Muslim that very evening, though I know that I was already a Muslim in my heart.

Since that time until now, there has not passed a day or a year without it trials, but ALlâh, Jalla Jalaluhu, has shown me that even though I can see and hear of the issues taking place within and without of the Ummah, this, Islam, is the Way. Since then I have been steadily growing within the Dîn. I have had the opportunity to meet many beautiful people in this Path and all I can say is, Al-HamduliLlâh, All Praise is due to ALlâh.

Ma’as-Salâm,
Ahmad AbdlHaqq